Moving a blended family under one roof is challenging, whether you’re relocating one parent and children into the home of the other or whether both families will move to a new home they’ll all share.
Here are some tips to make your move smooth:
Consider the Children When Determining the Pace
Many emotions surface when a parent begins to seriously date another person, especially if they also have children. Children may wonder how they’ll fit into the blended family. They may also be concerned about whether the new parent will have different rules and, if so, which rules to follow.
They may also be jealous of the parent’s relationship with the stepparent or stepsiblings. But, on the other hand, they may be looking forward to having siblings.
Adults may consider moving in with each other a foregone conclusion. However, the children may still be adjusting. First, let them air their feelings and acknowledge them. Then help them get to know each other before moving in together.
Set Boundaries
Expecting that the blended family will do everything together is unrealistic. Striking a balance can help avoid resentment.
Family members should divide their time in four ways:
- Couples’ time without any children
- Each parent’s time with their own kids
- All together time
- Alone time for each parent while the other parent watches both sets of kids
Share Space Positively
Everyone has personal items and memorabilia that they treasure. Even if other family members don’t understand the significance of these items, a successful move requires finding space for them in both shared and private spaces.
Children need to have a space of their own. If you can, give them each their own room, allow them freedom, and leave their personal items untouched.
If they will share a room, help them negotiate ground rules. Each child should have at least some space of their own. Each child also should be able to require that no one touch or borrow their personal items without their permission.
If one family is moving into a home already occupied by the other, consider making everyone change. For example, rather than having one child move into a room that has previously been the sole habitat of another, consider having both children move to a new space. If moving into a new room isn’t possible, consider redecorating and rearranging the room to make it as different as possible.
Manage Expectations
The blended family will differ from the old family, so manage expectations accordingly. Give yourself, your partner, your children, and your partner’s children time to work through the new relationship and develop a new way of being family.
Some conflicts may occur, especially in the first year or two. Talk through feelings and use conflict mediation skills. If you can successfully resolve initial disagreements, the new family can live happily together.
Moving the Family
We have experience moving families. We can help your relocation go smoothly. Contact us today for a quote and more information.